August 2003 Archives

I am sitting here, looking at my Calc 1 book. I just figured out, that I can do it, as long as I keep doing the exercises, and learn all the missing skills from precalculus. I can understand the concepts, and I can use them. As I sit here in a empty classroom, I am happy, and have hope of success in my math class. Heh, I just gotta wait till the first quiz. *laughs*

I have one hour and thirty five minutes between my 4th and 5th class. I am trying to decide what I am going to do with it. I thought about going to the gym or studying. Some people say that I should to the gym, because there is a lot of benefit in that. I am pretty much going into that direction at this time. I am probably going to get someome to help me get started again. They have programs they can put one on, and they are pretty cheap. I believe that if I get started, and will acquire enough knowledge to do things by myself. Once that happens, I can go to my local gym, without being overly worried about everything.

It's kinda funny that I don't wanna go to the gym looking bad. Although, the whole poing of going to the gym, is to turn bad into good. So, it would be self-defeating to not go because you don't look good enough.

Hehe, I forgot this fun little detail. I met a cute guy at my Computer Science Intro Class. He seems kewl, and so far is proving to be interesting. We chatted a bit after class today, and the conversation was just my level. Ehh, go figure.

Since I am being more chatty this year in school, I am actually meeting more people. Ohh my, it's like, a logical explanation, *laughs.* Last year, I was mostly quiet, and that just ended up in boredom. I might get involved with school this year, but still not clear on what I should do. I got evaluate my options, and decide if it's worth it. Although, working, and going to school full time pretty much drains away most of my time. As my Macroecomics teacher says. Is the marginal cost of this decision worth it? I shall see...

School is getting acquiring it's rhythm again. Today I made it to class in decent time, and didn't get the weird glare of a full class already in progress. I met an old HS friend, Mauricio at school. He's one of my few HS friends that I still see around, and get a chance to talk to. Most other people just get a "Hi, aren't you from so and so high school?" After the yes, people just nod, and go on with their lives.

Anywho, as I was saying, classes are getting back up to speed. The only class I am having a bit of problem currently, is Calc I. There is so much stuff that I was supposed to learn in PreCalc, but never did. My teacher was great, but he never finished some of the material. Now I am stuck, having to reasearch and learn some of that stuff for myself. I don't mind, and that's why I kept me PreCalc book. Smart of me eh? *grins*

I still hate walking between the far away buildings with the sun gleaming down at me. It's freaking hot a lot of times, but not summer beach hot. Which is good I guess, although Fall is soon to be here. With fall, everyone's wardrobe will change, yet, the air conditioning on the buildings will still keep things muggy. Bleah, I hate to walk around with heavy jackets, and come with a class that is lukewarm, in a bad way.

Ehh, that challenge was easy enough to lose. I managed to stay in the challenge for a good amout of days, which is good enough for me.

So, I went to donate blood, filled out all the paperwork. My blood type was tester, and I found out I have a perfect about of iron on my blood. I filled out the questionaire, and was ready to donate. Well, but I could not, and here is why.

Question 22 I think, asked if I had any sex with a man, since 1977. I answer yes thruthfully, but after they verified on the book: "Male - If answered yes to that quiestion. Please defer permanently from donating." Which means pretty much I can't ever donate blood. Ohh well, I can't do anything about it. I did get the T-shirt about blood donations, so yeay for that. Although, I really wanted to donate some blood.

I will start my sophomore year at Georgia State University. I will have new classes with new teachers. I will buy new books, and take new notes with my new mechanical pencil.

As much as that sound all exciting, I am a bit weary. I know I can take it, but I still feel like it's going to be hard, and annoying. I know it doesn't turn out to be like that (usually.)

I just want things to be smooth, and I wanna be all happy and smiling. I will have to see how things go. Hopefully this time, there will be some excitement. I need some.

Ehh, yeah, today was one of those confusing days where things went from better to worse to better again.

Here are the 2 downing incindents of the day...

1. I laughed inaporpriatelly in the presence of a customer. I didn't mean to, but he had the exact same question as the customer before. The customer before laughed too, but the current customer just got pissed, and thought I was laughing at him. Well, he explained his dillema, I said would search the battery for him as soon as I was done with the previous customer. He agreed, but quickly lost temper, and demanded to speak with General Manager. I said he wasn't there, and he told me to just go and get the person on duty. He complained to the person on duty, and just decided to walk out, saying that we did not care about him or his concerns.

The customer later called the current store manager, and bitched at him for 10 minutes for various reasons. One which included me laughing. So then, I got called in his office with my manager, and got chewed out. I was pissed, and was told I was inappropriate at the time, and some other stuff. He was pretty much relaying the anger from hearing from the customer into me. That dragged me down a bit, and it sucked, because a string of wrong things ensued.

2. This one is interesting. I returned something in the only system I could, and it hit retail and not corporate. Since it was service, the same manager from incident one storms in pissed at me. Again, ensues the stern voice talk, and he calls my manager to see what we can do to fix it. Me and the head cashier at the time, Surge, try to figure it out. Surge is a friends, so he wants to help out, since it also involved one of his underlings. We find a solution as the store is on closing procedures, and everyone rejoices in happiness. Well, manly that manager, because his service sales now look great.

... So the day was a up and down kinda day. It ended on a happy note, and everyone was happy afterwords. Well, except for the customer I laughed about. That one was pissed, but there was nothing I could do. Him being pissed off was something involving multiple departments, and 2 weeks of headaches.

I like retail, but sometimes I just want to leave. Ehh, I get paid hourly, and most of my time is not busy. I am happy with that.

As we down on the age of a new school year, I ponder about my books. I can pay $450 if I get them all used, or $560 if I buy them all new. I want to pay $0, and get all of them anyways. Although, I have this feeling that won't happen. If my refund check from school is issued by friday, then I am good. If not, then I will not have any books the first week of school. Yes, that is indeed going to suck.

I am crossing my fingers for the financial administration division of GSU to be diligent. I will know the final results by Friday morning. If it's a yes, then I will cash my paycheck from work, and head down to the school book store. I will buy them with joy and glee, and other fun filled emotions.

Today I worked, and worked, and then worked. I opened and close, which in a sunday, it's just a difference of 1 1/2 hours. My trainee is being disobedient again. Then again, I have not traiend him for such a long time anyways. Monday I will have more downtime to train him. He really needs to be up on the main system soon. He is still making mistakes that can ruin an order. Ohh, and I gotta train him on the Register. That's gonna be some task.

Anywho, after work I went to Brad's house. The drive there was interesting, since there were 4 cars, and only the first in line knew where it was going. We were driving on the highway, swtiching lanes like a tail. Well, I got tail-wipped 2 times. One was because in front of me, someones tire lost it's threads. So, I got separated by a big white van. I had to do minor driving acrobatics to get in line again. It was fun, but it's something I would rather not do. I eventually got there, and it was close to a old friends house. Easy to remember now.

We looked at website backends and layouts, ate pizza, and generally chatted. The conversations were so random, and it seemed that everyone had ADD. We could not talk more then 2 or 3 minutes on any subject. It was a laugh a minute. I found out that Brad is quite a quiet person. Through the evening he asked us to keep it down a few times. It was something I didn't know about him. I am not bothered a bit by it, becase I can understand where he comes from. First, his GF was watching a TV show, and also he lives in an apartment. As he said, he can hear everyone else's noise, so he would not like to be bothersome like them.

I had fun, and it's been a while since I hanged out, and did nothing but chat. I miss stuff like that, and I am glad it went on. Heh, I just wonder how much I'll have to wait to just hang out again.

Life is nifty, and I am glad it is. Things are going pretty good, and I have a way to solve most things. I am so happy.

Today, I woke up feeling wonderful. My neck is no longer hurting because I slept badly yesterday. I did not have any terrible nightmares. I woke up refreshed and smiling. I am relaxed and got plenty og energy. I have not been bothered with duties, nor do I have any errands to run. The day should go along pretty well. My mom is doing wonderful in her class, she just came home, and she is going to buy the additional book so she can get all the terms. Surprisingly, there is enough money to buy that, and that makes me happy. Richie gave his share of the money for the month, so that is good. I trink I can actually get things planned and straightened today, believe it or not. *hyper smiles, and grins*

I am sitting here, visiting www.vgmusic.com listening to this wonderful video game music midis. It might sound silly, but I actually enjoy the classics and it's spouting remixes. Currently listening to the Super Mario Sunshine Dolphic Island FZero like Rock Remix. It's a long name, but for some reason I just love that song. That among many other remixes. Medleys of Chocobos, and Zelda's wonderful melodies. it's upbeat, happy, and puts me in a good mood. Heh, and it's funny to see the polka remixes of some songs. It's just not right, yet so right. Rock and Ska remixes can hit the right spot, right along with the techno remixes. Ahh, how wonderful is to have people that disect songs from Video Games, and remake them into midis one can groove to. *smiles*

Argh, I sit here in my small room, and a fly rotates around my head. I have hit it, yet it keeps flying. It zooms in circles, from left to right, and right to left. It's HIGHLY annoying, and I wish I had bug spray. The other thing is the fleas the dogs brought in. You can't see them mostly, but you can difinetly feel them. They jump and bounce here and there.

I already did the research on solutions. I am gonna buy the flea bomb, flee colars for the dogs, a flee shampoo along with the wipes, and the monthly spot-on treatment. This should rid the house of those annoying pests. Also the flee bomb will kill roaches, ants, and some other miscellaneous insects.

It seems the fly decided to rest, but soon he will be roaming.

Aha, there it is... It's soooo about to get twacked. *gets old shirt*

Arghh, I think I've killed it, but don't know where it went. I now gotta wash the red towel I used to swat it. Ehh, I needed to wash it anways.

It better not come back and start freaking flying in circles. Although, I gotta say it was fun to run around the room and repetedly swat things around. I did almost knock things down, but everything is ok.

* 10 minutes later *

I expected it to be dead, but it wasn't, it started flying again. I again swated it with a towel multiple times until the fatal hit. I swatted it, and heard a thud. I looked, and there the fly was, dead. I threw it in the trash, and it's no more. I can now rest again.

So I got a trainee at work, and he is decent enough. I am training him on all my duties, and on all the systems I use. He needs to be able to run orders by wednesday, when he will be closing by himself. I just wonder how he is going to do. I am frankly a bit weary he is gonna screw something off. I believe I am a good teacher. I drive the point home, and make sure he knows his mistakes. Also, it does make the time pass really really fast, which I am happy about. I am creating lists and guides to help him. I am also gathering all the resources he needs. I will see how he works out, and if in about 2 weeks he is effective. If not, then, we shall see. I still have to train him on the really annoying systems. That will be a pain in the ass, and there is no easy way around it.

If I train him well, then I don't have to worry about fixing his mistakes, which is good. I am a person that creates checklists and logs. It help keep things in order, and it makes sure nothing is forgotten. I will soon find out if I can train well.

Happy side fact: Store manager paying lunch for me for pulling continuous doubles. *grins* I bought subway, and he said that wasn't big enough, and to bring the receipt of something filling to him. I shall do that soon.

Today, since I am not going over to Hunters house to watch Deal Like Me, I shall download it. Thomas is in Florida, and his gf is felling sick. Btw, I so wish I was in Florida, it's like better there. It's much less boring the Georgia it seems. When he is back, it would be interesting for him to have a suntan. If it was me, and I was a decent amount sound of Atlanta, I would have a suntan. Anywho, also Joe wasn't gonna be able to make it, so it was called off. It seems bad, but it's kewl. The twist is, that today I found out I have to open and close tomorrow. Hence, I would have probably have gotten home late, and gotten no sleep if there was a viewing party. So, it's a undead surprise to say the least.

Today was a good day I say. The new guy is training well, and that's fantastic. That means that soon I don't have to work crazy hours, since I will be sharing my shifts, *gleams with happiness*

Anywho, yesterday was good to. I went to Panera Bread with Oana, she ordered this nice sandwich, and let me have some of it, along with the delicious greek salad. It was delicious because of the crumbly fetta cheesy, *yumm.* Oana said she would get me a neck adornation, since I was bumming about the fact that I needed one. Last one I had was this nice hemp necklace with blue centerpiece paited with dolphin silluetes. I lost it on Michael's house way back in the days, and never found it again. This time I might get something different, since there is sooooo much stuff to pick from *smiles.*

I am in a better mood then yesterday. My day today was pretty good, so I am content. Work had it's funny times, and I was glad. After about 2 weeks things should settle down again. Well, at least that is what I am hoping. Gotta train new guy, Johny. He doesn't stand out in looks, so he shall stay clear off my radar.

Umm, the challenge is gonna restart now, and end in 40 days again. Enough said. It runs through September 17 @ 01:30:00.

I am not liking the 40 day project. I can't do anything, it sucks. Who came up with the idea that I can't spank the monkey. It's just silly. Ohh, hold on, that was my dumb self, exercising self-control and etc. I almost had a slip today, but it's all good now. Still, it's irking me. I haven't passed this challenge before, and am hoping that I will pass it now. Ohh well, I can't do anything about it. Also, I can't do anything about "it." Heh, just watch my very obvious inuendos. It's been just like 4 days. Ehh, I've have in the past, easly gone past that, so no worries.

I want my happy back. At work I am no longer happy, things are changing and going on a direction I dont like. Most managers are gone, and people are more going then coming. My day is a mundane amalgam of reports and issues. I barelly hang out with friends. Home life is boring, and everyone has more problems then solutions. There are too many bills to pay and not enough money. I am single, and no outlook on that one. Things pile up, I am no longer as polite as I want to be to people.

I need to go out and do something for myself. I would be content with just walking in a park. Hanging out all the long, and just talk bull. Same as typical, I have a bunch of people I know, but lack friends. Noone calls me to chat, nor do I call anybody. My buddy list on the computer has a bunch of people that barelly exchange a word a month if even that. Although, it's not as if I am putting any effort into it. I don't go to friends house and just watch a movie for the hell of it. If one ever invited, I would probably be all self concious and try to act proper. Then again, I don't know. I would like to go watch Dead Like Me on friends house this weekend, but don't know if that's going to happen. I should not doubt myself but I often do. I look at myself, and see someone not worth that much. I know inside what I am worth, and I value myself, but other people don't see that. Latelly I've been seeing the glass as empty.

Whever there is someone new, I latch myself. I try to find out most things about everyone. I end up just being a background artifact. I am part of the room, but have no impact on it. As soon as I see something not favorable, I back myself away, and fade into oblivion. Everywhere yet nowhere. Noone seeks me, and I seek noone. It sucks...

Where did my happy go? I want my happy back...

Heh, I was frantically searching for the place to drop off mom's registration info off. I drove around the area 3 times, and the directions were not correct. Later I found out I had passed it, and it was too late to come back and drop by. That's how the story ended. The middle of the story is what drove me insane...

I was on my last attempt to find the place. I had an idea where it was, and was gonna drop by. I was in the middle of cobb parkway, in rush hour, with all lanes completelly clogged, going downhill, facing highway 75 and 285. Just at the moment, my motor stopped. My power brakes went out, and my car started going downhill. I put my foot down real hard and brought the car to a stop. Panic ensued for about a minute or so. I had to cross 3 lanes to get go a road where I could stop. I started turning, but my turning the steering wheel felt almost locked. I tried to signal a turn, but the battery was dead. Again, I panicked a bit more. I barelly opened my window, and was able to hand signal that I need to go that way. I am sure I didn't use the correct hand signal, but I was able to pass through. On passing the third lane, a car almost slammed into me, but I was able to halt in time. That took a bit of the momentum off, but it was ok. I slowly was able to go on a byroad, cruise for about 2 minutes, and stopped in a smaller road entrance. My car just would not go forward or back at that moment. I was glad I stopped. I looked around a bit, and there was noone in sight. There were some buildings, and I decided to enter one. In my was, I saw the guy that roams the mall area, and he said would send someone. I waited a bit, and he just passed by again. I decided to just go into the buulding finally. It was a big nuclear something or another management firm.

The guard in there was helptful, and I told him about my dillema. He said he would meet me around the corner, because his car was on the back of the building. I went back to by car, and another guy asked me if i needed help, and was about to call security. I told him I already contacted them, and he was coming. Ohh, and I had no cell phone on me, which caused a bit of panic frankly. I am so used to just calling for help. Anywho, I had to fill some paperwork, and he gave me a jump. I was happy that just my battery died, and nothing else was wrong with the car. I stayed put a bit, and let the car charge. I then got on my way, avoided the same way my car had died, and took a back way into highway 285, and drove home. Of course my radio was off, my lights were off, and so was the A/C. I didn't want to risk this happening in the middle of rush hour in a major highway. Each time traffic slowed to a stop i panicked. I did get home, and was very glad I did. I was able to handle the situation and get home safelly.

Every time I get a day off, I end up in a extremelly weird string of situations that turn the completelly downplays the reason why I have days off. I really need to go out and do some Resting and Relaxing. Also, by resting, I don't mean sleeping, but doing something to wind down, and that energizes the body. I shall plan something like that... someday...

I plan on keeping a professional trim appearance. I do already make efforts to keep myself looking kempt. It's easy really. Cut the hair, cut the nails, make sure all other hair is kept well. That means shave, and trimming nose hair. On summer, and when in private, it's always good to have other hairs trimmed. Body smell is taken care off always. Showers in the mornings, and after strenuous activities. Also, can't have greasy or scragly hair, so wash it, and conditioner is essential. Can't forget to use deodorant, and add a splash of cologne. I have slacked on the facial acne area. I ran out of my fave product, and had not yet had a chance to replenish my stock. Also I've have not cleaned my face with foamy washes that lift the dirt and oil away that causes acne. I gotta make sure to put powders so my shoes and feet smell fresh. That is plenty true after rains since the water seeps in and doesn't get a chance to dry quickly. Breath is also a big, and easly discovered blunder. I brush my teeth in the morning and at night, since those are the only times I get a change to. Also, I drink plenty of water to keep my hydrated, and always have some listerine pocket packs in my pocket. Whenever I feel some irkiness building, I just pop one of them in my mouth. It keeps the fresh in, and kills the germs. Hmm, now if I could get a nice tan to even out the whiteness in me, it would be superb. Ohh, and always gotta remember to moisturize. Cracking, dry skin is unconfortable and it doesn't look good. That also applies to the lips. The like to be moist, and protected from the sun. Some people think make-up is really pushing the envelope, and it can be. A natural look is always best. Although, if one parties hard, dark circle under eyes are a big hint, that can be covered up. Most guys cringe at the work make-up. Then again, some just wear it, and make it look awful. Then it looks like one is wearing make-up, then it's not good. It just evens out the skin tones, and can also get a tired look the revival it needs. I personally don't use any, since it makes me break out. Again, if I were to use, I would use it sparingly, and only if necessary. Although, I do use creams and other skin products, that with time, help clarify skin, even out skin tones, and do a fine job at clearing blemishes.

Anywho, it's always good to look decent Also, one does this purely for someone else, and isn't happy, then it isn't worth. The inner matters, but the outter compliments it. One does not need to be a top ten model to be well kempt.

Clothing... Now that's a whole other department with it's rules and regulations. I'll stay away from that one.

Commitment is what it takes to get to certain places. I have commited myself to acquiring a healthier body, and I will not stop. I cannot back out of it this time. I hate to carry more weight then I should. People say I don't look fat, but I know how I look. I have pictures to prove it, *laughs.* I will soon start posting the daily progress pictures. They are part of the Slim-Down Project, but still a part of a greater goal.

I will be happy when I look in the mirror, and I can trully say: "Damn, that's sexy." Ehh, even if I don't say it, I will settle for someone else saying it and meaning it, *grins.*

That's what I plan to do in the morning time now. I need to get active and moving. I will start walking around then neighborhood, then will take long walks among the local subdivisions. The temperature is not too hot, nor too cold at the moment. I still have to find a confortable shoe to wear. I will figure that one out later.

It's weird to get yer eyebrows plucked by yer mom in the middle of the night. That's just what I did, and while it started hurting just a bit, it ended up hurting like hell. The outer hairs have been plucked before, so it was just mild pain. Mom decided to go in deep, and thicken down my bushy brows. She went in deep deep, including the the hairs near the inner part of the eyes. It's extremelly sensitive, and I really wanted to stop. Also there was the fact that there was no back support, and I had to lean back. Gaw, it was like, disconfort and pain, all in one package. Although, I do have to say that my eyebrows look much better now. I am happy with the results.

She plans on plucking some more this week. It's not going to be that bad, since she did the main part, and it will take less time. One could see the swelling of the area the hairs were fone from. It was funny to see how much was gone. Next time I am going to the Amazon lady to take them off. The amazon lady, is a aesthetician named Ilda. She works out a few hours every single day, and wears frilly animal hide clothing. She is also South American, so everything goes together. Along with the fact that she is an outdoorsy kinda person.

Heh, as Hunter often says. Gaw, I hate my life. Well, at times I do, but at times I don't. I happen to like my life. It's stressful, and it drives me crazy on a daily basis, but I like it. I know that everything will just go along and be ok. I just gotta fit more cooldown times in my life. Job is driving my crazy. This past 4 days, we had the Tax Free Holiday at work. Customers were coming from left to right, and everyone was trying to get things settled. People were surprisingly patient, and some waited a long amount of time. They could see clearly I was trying to do everything that was needed, and was trying to do it fast. That made me happy, but the stress of it, just dragged me down. Also, there is the whole people in my house issue, along with everyone in house being stressed, along with not enought money to pay bills confortably. Something more unrelated, is that my computer is not 100% at the moment. It can crash at times.

*40 minutes later *

Ehh, I lost my traing of thought. I had to pay the car insurance. It's paid now, they just want the car registration information. We already gave them that, but ohh well. Go figure. It's not the first time they asked for something weird, or did something unexpected. We will call and figure it out, like always.

Today, since I really had nothing better to do, decided to start on my 40 day project. That is 40 days without sex, or any contact that could be deemed remotelly sexual. It will be easy I imagine. I shall see how things go, and hopefully have tales of temptation. *grins*

The project starts at the blog date and time, and finishes at the same time, 40 days from now. That date, counting 40 full day cycles is Septmber 13th @ 14:38:54.

I always enter what happens to be in my journal, it's what I do. It's fun to write, and it gets the feelings out. Today I went to watch Dead Like Me on friends house. That was kewl, and I am so glad I was able to see an episode without waiting hours and days, just to see something that is'nt great in quality. Also, friend did a search, and he got the song that played in some episodes in Dead Like Me. He was happy, and obviouslly, so was I. Frankly, I am gonna see with friend, if he minds coming me coming over again. He's a kewl guy, and a person one can chat with. He's private, which I respect entirely.

Also, I found out that a comment he made some time ago (Jul 26 2003 @ 11:13) was completelly not meant to be in a bad way. I am happy about it with. I didn't feel bad about the comment, but it wasn't appreciated at the time. Now, if he says it, I know what he means, so it's kewl.

Also, I was pretty much right on my track of not persuing him. I talked to him, and just saw it was something what would not move beyond any point. I am happy I found out, because there is no more guessing and wondering. Now I just know what I need to know. He's still a kewl guy, and quite savvy with web things I want to learn. I would not mind having him as a friend. Heck, he does speak French, and loves Dead Like Me. Gotta like that, *grins.*

Weirdly, by just being direct, and asking what I wanted to know, it spared worries, and fear. There was no doubt of what I heard, and it ensued no pain. Made things a heck of a lot easier to tell the truth. If only I had asked everything I wanted to know of people in the past. It would have made things so much easier. Takes all the hassle away.

I am glad I am still me, and everyone is still everyone else. I do tend to talk a bit, but am always willing to hear.

Somethings are just necessary, and you can't do anything about them. Hence it's life.

So, I woke up, and at 9:00 I was at work. I left work at 22:20. See, that's like, a lot of hours. I will do that schedule of hours friday and saturday. My feet is already hurting, and it's going to get worse unfortunatelly. Gaw, I hate standing up for hours on end.

It's not that bad really. Except for the fact that there are going to be some changes. My semi boss, Justin, is going to the Tech Shop. The Lady that used to be HR, is going to replace justin's position. Also our Ops Manager is moving to another state. I am still getting in sync with my boss at work. One of the new salespeople, Gregg, is slowly driving to to utter insanity. We just can't agree on some things, and he keeps questioning things I say. It's not that I am ever knowing, but he could at least follow instructions. It all servers a purpose, and I am a very procedural person. I am usually just trying to make things quick and easy, and organized.

Ehh, I am going to go to sleep. I just ate a piece of mom's delicous chicken. Too bad she isn't here. She had to go pick up the car from the repair place with B-Chris. Gaw, I hate Pep Boys sometimes. They just take forever, and charge an arm, a leg, and part of yer torso. Sheesh.

Anywho. Me sleep, to wake up, and go though the whole work shmeil again.