25%

How do I start things entry? It will just be a rant about work, but it needs to be written.

Right now at work, I wonder how things are going. I wonder the background reason for what everyone is doing. I wish I could bring myself to care tremendously, but, naw.

Everyone is moving along their own pace. We all seem to be working together, but not really. There is friction here and there. I wish things would get in place again. Ohh, I am happy we are finally having a store morning meeting again. We haven't had one for a long long time. They might seem superfluous, but I like them.

Ok, time for the long rant that encompasses the 25% title...

I am not motivated to be 100% at work. I am not motivated to give my 50% either. I do my 25%, and everything seems fine. I am a good bit above functional, which is 10-15%. I do what I need to, and that extra little bit. I am not doing everything I could by far. I am efficient, and see plenty of things I could straighten out. I started doing a bit of that today for the sake of Frantz. As far as my Manager goes, I don't share his vision much. Sometimes I sit at my theoretical desk, and wonder were the hell things are going, and what the hell am I supposed to be doing. It's not his fault entirely, but more of a group effort to make everything crazy. Things are falling through the cracks a bit less, but are still falling. The ever ending internal battle, of my group, and retail still wages one.

The ting that just made me wonder today was: My Manager told me that I should when not at the desk, stand at the door, and qualify business customers. I frankly questioned him, and asked if it was his idea. He said, yeah, and I just gave him a look. Also, I questioned what would happen if I were not at the door, and he simply said, that this would be insubordination, which is not obeying your boss. I was ohh, ok, and gave a smug grin. Really, makes me wonder how the hell things are going to end up. I questioned him, and he then told me why. He said that there were too many customers that were corporate, going through retail. Sometimes there are, I agree. Although the mindset is if someone works for a business, they are therefore business customers. It ends up seeming that way, and it's clear why.

Thing is, I still got stuff to do that would not go with that. I have forms to file, reports to run, customers issue to deal with. I also answer the phone, process credit apps, check inventory of other stores, pull web orders, and make sure my area is decent. I ran stuff for other people to through the day. I get asked to go get this, and help with that. So, yeah, I can just drop everything I do, walk away from my desk, and qualify customers at the door. Well, gee, I am sure that is reasonable. Since the retail sales people don't want to do that, because they want to get paid, I have to. Well, but I am hourly, so who cares. Also, by being at the door, and qualifying customers, something is going to happen in reverse. I will try to find corporate customers, but retail customers will obviously ask me for help. See, that is when things become gray. By standing at the door, I am bound to go on some 30 minute trips, explaining something that is self-explanatory to someone that has nothing to do with the reason I am standing at the door. Besides that, there is the fact I will actually act like a corporate sales person, and have to help the corporate customer on picking items, and choose stuff. Gee, and in the meantime, what happens to the desk. Well, I am certain to find myself caught in a line potentially when I get there. So, the way to make sales is to make my stretch so thin to a point where the service to everyone is globally crappy. Sure, I can manage that, let the people who already shop with us fall though the crack. Sounds all sunshiny day to me. That is except for the fact that it obviously isn't.

Again, it doesn't drive me to be 100%, but as always, that is the way I am going to have to be. I will do my best to be efficient, and helpful. I am sure able to to do it. I got complimented by a total of six people today. They all said I was smart, and learned fast, and have skills, and also that I am helpful, friendly, and so forth. It's so weird to be complimented so many times in one day. It made me feel better, and it also drove me to think that I can do better, even if I don't believe entirely on what I am doing. I shall improve, and make efficient things that weren't. I shall make guides and shortcuts so errors are minimized. I have things I have to solve, and make amends on other things. I am usually on top of my game, but I have to be on top of everyone's game. Sure I can act like an automaton about everything, but that is just sufficient to bore me to death. I have to be me, on the most efficient level. I don't need to believe in what I do, I just have to believe on my ability to do what must be done.

25% might be good enough to make people happy, but that means jack to me. I can still not give a shit and be 100%.