Ungood Negativism

Let's see. Today was a ok day.

Work was tiring, and I didn't get to finish everything I needed. Things that I didn't want to happen are becoming reality.

I am training my replacement pretty much. She is there 9 to 6, and does all my duties. Me, well, I'm getting shifted to when she is not there. I haven't gotten the final schedule, but I am pretty sure. On top of that, things are just not going well at work.

I was having a bad day, and got a chance to talk to mom. She came to get some money, and then I remembered, and reminded her thatshe had my credit card, but I still got to talk to her, since she was at the Quick Trip already, and I was on lunch.

She was telling me, how she knows things are not so good, but to take it all in positivelly, and just smile through it. I thought about it, and of course it made sense. Granted, I was still not happy at that moment.

She reminded me to focus on the good things. She was telling me, when she was feeling down, she thought of the good times we had on our vacations, and the funny times. She cited the 3AM fire alarm wake up and visit downstairs, which made me smile. She also told me to remember the fun time I had @ the concert with Paul, and how him and I got to hang out and have fun. She told me not to worry about the fact that I might see him for a bit, but to just smile, and things of times I saw him. That's among other things, but Paul was the most recent example, and helped her prove her point.

I take in the negative too much, and let the good positive stuff slide by. I do fun things, but they need to factor into my life more, and carry over to days I am feeling blue. I just let them fade into my negativeness.

Yes, it all comes with the fact I worry too much. Which has been pointed out by Paul ever so much, but it's because it's true, and I am often worrying about things that I should not be. I know things are going to end up fine. As I always mentioned, they always do.

I never really worry if there is something wrong with me. I thought about it, and realized, I just need to focus on good stuff instead of bad. There's nothing wrong, except for the need of some adjustment on outlooks, and that's something I can slowly integrate.

I detach from my good emotions, and attach myself to the bad ones far too easly.

I need to relax, sit down, and get things in line. I said that many many many times before, but still, I haven't really done it...

Yes, I need to organize myself, and let my random lack of interest in things go away. Well, I am interested in things, but I just get everything else boggled with it, and it never gets done.

I just gotta do it, get it done and over with, and move on to more positive things.

Today's insights, are inspired by Mom and Paul. I have more insights inspired by them but I am sleepy, and I am slowly starting to just repeat myself.