Locked in thought

Well, what if what if. Yes, what if I followed through my wonderous strict manners. Have so much self control that I won't give myself gimmies, or just accidentally come upon a situation that I planned not to.

What if? Yes, that would be interesting. I am willing to try it, yet, in the back of my head, I give myself a escape from my own rules. A few free passes to do what I wasn't going to.

What if I ended those free passes? Yeah, self control would be needed. I can't justify watching 2 hours of TV, because I was watching TV for 10 mins while eating. The 10 minutes don't call for the 2 hours, but hey, I rationalize, and end up watching it for a long time.

What if I followed through? Yeah, completelly, and absolutelly follow my gameplan without deviation. Only I can better myself, or put myself in a better sitatuion. If I'm the one allowing the slacking off, there's nothing anyone can do.

What if I didn't cut myself some slack? Who am I kidding right? Well, actually it's something to think about. I think that if I create the rules, I can just break them if I don't like it, or if I just have an urge to do something.

Well, there's an easy solution that's hard. Just do it. If I look in my archives, I'll probably see a "juts do it" somewhere.

Now, the gameplan, is to follow some of my old strict rules. No turning back, and no accidentally falling out of them. None of that will be accepte this time. I don't wan to be sitting in the couch, watching TV for 3 hours, when I just know I have some homework to finish. Feeling that pang of guilt, because I know I have to do it, yet I can't bring myself to.

Yep, it's good to do some reflection about things. And I've been thinking about the items in this entry for the past few days. That's because I've fallen back on many things that I vowed to be strict about. As a result I lost lots and lots of time, that could be used for my coding project and such.

Granted, there is no point in reflection about things in the past, that I cannot change. As this entry points, the focus is from now on, the future. That's what I gotta get in better shape.

That, indeed, is what I'll do.