A Sum of Break. with a plan

Oy, I had a break. I didn't do much of what I needed to do, but I digress. I had time to rest, and unwind a bit, granted I would be ever so happy with another week.

What I have learned, is that time is not really an issue for me. I had all this time, yet I managed to accomplish even less than I would in a normal week.

The problem here, is my drive to do those things. If I don't feel like at the time, and I don't apply myself, things simply don't get done. It's not complicated to understand at all, but the problem is getting over this hurdle. I did have time that I sat down, and studied decently well. Granted, as I always mention, home is a terrible terrible enviroment for me to study on. There's distractions aboud, and little things that keep interrupting the flow of me studying.

When I am at school, I sit down, and pretty much don't have to worry about much. Aside from taking a water/bathroom break, there's nothing else that will take my focus away from the books. Well, aside from the other people in the room acting like dorks, but that doesn't happen often, and I can just get back to studying seconds later.

Anywho, if I manage to solve this problem, I unlock the key to study heaven.

It's really hard to cut down on distractions. There's my computer, general things in my room, my constant yearning to not actually study, family members, my curiosity, bills and the sort, along other various little factors that all add up to me not doing what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.

I can identify everything without a problem, now, I gotta start cutting it down. I pretty much have to enter the dark ages per se. Gotta get a whole lot of boring around me, and fill all that boring with studying.

Let's see, when I get home, I study. I usually get food, and the creates a great little excuse for watching TV. Everyone knows that TV has that secret ability to lock people in, and not let them go until the show is finished. In my case, another round of the show comes after the show finished, and since they do show a little tidbit of what is about to happen, I just end up sitting down, and watching how it ends.

There's other things too. One is my wonderful computer distractions. I start by checking e-mail, then I click a link or two, check who's online, and so on. As the internet is ever so fascinating, a link catches me, or just a blast from the past, and I sit on the computer, browsing, and researching a multitude of things, until the wee hours of the night. Yes, is very leasurelly, but it takes away all my time.

I do have to add the other thing in the computer, that one that is sinfully good. It goes by the name of porn. Yes, it's there, and it's not very helpful either. Not to say it's bad, or wrong, because it isn't, but it's not constructive. Anywho, porn distracting, and we are moving on...

Now, there's a piece to the puzzle, which is just hard to eliminate. I shall call that random interruptions, and distractions. It's a call here, or a question there, or a nagging little task that has to be done. All those little things that change the way things are going. I had a whole bunch of those this week. I went to get a post-it, then my sister was playing with the dog, and called me. I went to look, and I notice that her computer had a notice, so I cleared it up, and looked up what was wrong, and so on, and I was there for far too long. Also, it happened when I just went to look something up on my computer. I came up with the bright idea of checking to see if the motherboard had an update. I ended up dowloading that, it put my computer out of commission, and I could not get away until my computer was right back in shape. That took a little over an hour.

I love the fact I am curious about things, and that I take all this little tangents that lead me here and there, the only problem is, there's sooo many of them, and I just get lost, and end up losing track of things. I need to put myself in track as I said before, but this time I am relating it to something concrete. I am talking about not veering of a path and ending up lost. It unfortunatelly requires a change in the way I do things, and the way I think about things, because it's so commonplace for me to do so, and I need to alter that.

I also need to alter my lack of interesting in studying. I need to get interested again. I know that I have to study, and what to study, that's exremelly obvious to me. The only problem is getting myself to actually study. There's so many other things that are far more interesting at times, but I need to invest the time in it. I know exactly what happens when I don't. I get grades like D in tests. I'm not very keen of getting anything below a B. I would prefer an A, but so would everyone else. I do strive for them, and with plenty of investing in studying an A should be just as easy to reach as a B.

Well, there's a lot to be done, and I should get right started. Again, how do I get myself started if starting is a problem. That's a wonderful question, that I shall ponder about, and do something about as soon as I can.

Now, lemme say something that I've said before, but this time I mean extra strongly.

"From this point on, I will do everything possible, and impossibly to improve myself, and accomplish the goals I have outline. There's nothing, and I mean nothing that will keep me from doing that."

See, that's quite a stament, and it's quite a challange. I'm up for it, and I will do it. As always, I will update here how things are moving along, and what I have accomplished. My journal is a wonderufl tool for reflection what I have done, and how things are progressing. So I shall use it to it's fullest.

Now, with a wish of luck, and pounds of determination, I'll get there.