July 2005 Archives

Ohhh, blarghedy doo day.

I just have to say, that automatic withdrawls are evil.

If I had a large fountain of money, or a managed account, it would not be such a big deal.

Mom's Real Estate fees are automatically drawn directly from my account. It's something we explicitelly told them not to do, yet, every month it disspears.

It would not be so bad, except for the fact that I had less money than the fees actually were. Then, comes the overdraft fairie and takes all my money alway, and since every single purchase made during the day, draws from the same account, the overdrafts grow exponetially.

Still, this time, I did give the bank a call, and was able to stop the chain of overdrafts, since things will post at the same time, and cancel each other out. I did have to make a nightly trip to the bank, but that's not a big deal.

Wew, still, it's scary. I am working on a double to single digit budget for a few days. Even afterwards, everything is just drained. With the college money coming, things will be better, but the problem is, about 3, maybe 4, things are going to go really bad in the meantime. I'm hoping it doesn't happen, because it's going to be a major incovenience. I just cross my fingers, that something magically comes up and helps us solve that. I'm even considering some things that I have all but completelly eliminated, and that are really bad ideas, and that I have been told not to do, but when things get to that level, one has to make do. I just hope they don't...

Yeay, I don't work tomorrow. So as far as I am concerned, the tax free weekend is over. No more crazyness, and no more having to worry about all the silly things that are retail. No more dealing with customers.

In Retrospect, I do have to say, that it really was not that bad, things went fairly smoothly. There were a few things that just could not be helped, but all ended well.

I got to direct a large crew of people, and manage to keep everything in control. It's nice to be the person that has a lot of answers, and can keep things moving along. Then again, it can be annoying as hell, because some things people really should know better.

Anywho, it was actually, dare I say it, a fun weekend. As always, I mention the reason I still work for this company, is because of the people, and the random tasks. The people are fun to talk to, and always interesting. The random tasks give me something to keep me interested. If this was repetitive with boring, people, I would dread my work. Although, I do hve to say, that our GM, just has to be bonked upside the head once in a bit to come back down to earth. Somedays we just want him to leave, so we can actually operate. *grins*

So, all in all, a great weekend. Ohh, and I did find out, that I get to see my wonderful Mike this weekend, even though we both thought it would be a week more before we had time to meet. *yeay*

It might have been a slightly hectic day, but it was a wonderful day.

I have been unusually cheerful for the past few days.

Bouncing off the wall, and grinning like afull. Everything is fun.

Despite the things that are icky, everything is very positive.

School is going well, work is no longer sucking the life out of me, and I have a wonderful boyfriend. *Grins*

Let's start with me screaming.

Ok, it's that time of the Georgia Calendar again. When we all decide to be merciless to retail people because of the "Georgia Tax Free Holiday"

That means congested roads and busy stores. It also means huge profits, but it's 4 days of battering, and bantering by customers, and endless days. Everyone opens early and closes late.

There are lines and lines of theoretical "get back to schoolers" getting the latest computers and what not.

Hopefully people will still remember to be civil, and remember that there are really not enought people to handle that kind of flow in most places. There will be long lines, and sorry, but it will take extra amount of times for someone to get help. It's a holiday, like any other, and people just have to deal with it.

Anywho, I prepare, and arm myself for this ever repeating crazy concoction.

I will this time, not consider it a battlefield, but a whimsical day at work. I will also make sure to eat a good breakfast, because I will need the energy. So, put a smile on, and move out, because it's coming. I shall report to work at the "wonderfully pleasant" time of 6AM. Hooray Hooray.

An envelope was received, and it was not wished to be open. My sister insisted, and the results were seen.

Mom wasn't very happy, nor was my sister.

There will be a follow up, and we will see the true dimension of what to expect. Regardless, we will be strong, and deal with it, as we have dealt with all other things that have come along.

I was surpised, but understanding, we just have to wait for something further to pick a path of action.

So, it was the birthday of the maternal unit (effectionally Mom) today.

There was the standard breakfast in bed, consisting of a McDonalds becon egg and cheesy biscuit, and her most fave, Dunkin Donuts Coffee.

We were all singing, and she was very much interested in going back to sleep, so we let her.

We cut a fruity Brazilian cake for her when I got back from work, and she is currently out. She went and did her standard volunteer work at the community clinic.

Anywho, just a very nice day, to celebrate.

So, I've gained weight for the past few months.

Most of it happened after I met Mike. People doesn't seem to mind it, they think I look fine and healthy. It's been a very odd experience for me.

I do also have to say, that part of it is because of the wolderful delicious meals that I have when in Mike's company, and the fact I have been having more sweet treats than I ever should. So it's a weight gain partially because I'm happy, and to a very small amount, due to a bit of stress, which just asks to be joined with conform foods.

See, I know that chocolate milkshakes, Starbucks chocolate creme frappucinos, chocolate cakes, and Hersey's hugs, along with other miscellaneous for of chocolate ice cream, is not good, and can cause weight gain. Granted, all so very delicious.

But indeed, while I look mightly healthy, I suspect that I have to shift my thoughts on the subject. I usually lose and gain weight simply by controlling my mouth. Usually there is little exercise involved. I have to start getting my body used to exercising, and that will also drive my appetite towards things less junky. Right now , my body is getting some shoddy fuel, but soon, it will be getting some premium fuel. *grins*

This Sunday, that just passed, I got to spend a bit more time with Mike since I did not work.

This time, he woke me up @ 11 and was on his way. A quick hop in the cold shower and I was set to go.

It was a simple day, we shopped for a desk a little bit at OfficeMax and Target. We found some nice things, but nothing stellar.

We did swing by Home Depot, to see if the had anything industrial, but alas, there was nothing.

I do have to note, just for the sake of discussion, that I got my finger caught in a drawer when in the kitchen area. If I remember correctly, it's not the first time that I have done such things. My thumb has a small tendency to be smothered against drawers. It did hurt, but it was something very minor.

Something that made it better, was food. We headed over to Bruno's N.Y. Style Pizza. Mike ordered a 16 inch pepperoni pizza. He did manage to eat 7 slices out of 8. If he had done all 8 our waintress would have given us some money. I enjoyed a delicious 5 cheese calzone. The food hit the spot, for Mike, and also for Me.

After the carb and cheese fiesta, we headed home, and visited the basement, to end the day nicelly. *grins*

This Past Saturday...

I got off work, and Mike was right behind me when getting home. I changed, and we headed up to Athens. I got to see the main college area, walked around campus a bit, walked arount the UGA renowned football field, and afterwards we swung by and saw were Mike's loft was. It was a bit muggy outside, but I got to see plenty.

Originally the pla was to watch Hot Hot Heat play at the 40 watt. After being in the venue a bit, we decided to scrap the plan. The crowd was rather bleah. I also had the choice of going downtown and watching weezer and the dead 60's, but the crowd over there, as I can assure, would be rather volumptuous. Either way, too much crowd, and it wasn't very appeasing.

We decided to instead walk a bit more. We stopped by this nice, quiet and dark coffee place. I got a delicious chocolate truffle cake that wasn't overpowering. Shortly after Mike got a cigar to settle his stomach, from when we ate earlier at (Forgot name of burger joint.)

To end the night, we ended up going to the infamous Boneshakers. It was their last night open, so we got to celebrate the last of it's legacy. I do have to say, I felt rather, ummm, off in there. The general look was a bit outside the way I look normally. It's not to say that I'd look hot if I had the look, but it's just not my thing. There were a decent amount of people there, and lots of chatter all around. We did meet one of Mike's friends from his past. Mike did just fine, and met no past enemies he would confront, so it was all quite nice.

So now, I have an idea of what to except, and also I kno where Mike lives. I gather I will be visiting him a decent amount, and spending some time in his loft *grins.*

I do have to say, that the preppy drinking frat boy population did annoy me just a smidge, but then again, I don't really give a damn about that.

Ahh, quite interesting things gave been.

First I got a B on my second Calc III test, which puts me in a very
good position for taking my final.

Also, I petsit for a friend from work, and everything was gravy. I
didn't know how he was going to retribute, but it turns out he gave
$100 for the service.

That was quite nice, and a bit on the unexpected side. I was happy,
and it sure as heck helps out in this money tight crunch.

Mom was able to get a bit of money to order he CDs for her training. I
have to go home and deal with that.

I'm still trying to figure out a way to pay for her tags, but
hopefully something should be up soon.

Another bit of good news, is that since I have been with my car
insurance company for a bit, they are going to give me a little bit of
leeway on the payment. That means that I won't get my insurance
cancelled if I pay it late. That's good.

Another good thing, is that we are getting the gas turned on.
Although, I did have to plead with the lady a bit, since she said we
are no longer elegible to be able to have service from them. If the
gas gets cut again, then we are screwed. She warned me that we are
already late on this month's payment, and if we miss the payment by
the time the other bill comes around, we are forever cut off. I'm sure
there are ways to get things restored, but I can guarantee the rates
will be high, and there will be an impossibly high deposit.

Anywho, things seem to be going well, but there is still a few bits of
things that we need to get solved.

My fingers are crossed for the other things to come through.

On a sidenote, Mike offered again help. Heh, and he made it much more
digestible. What he said is that I can help him with computers, and
charge him for my services, then theoretically, he will be paying me
for things I have done. Hehehe, gotta love him for trying.

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*And then, we all imagine we see a lamp, a mixer, a blender, and a vacuum. Hehe.

*I'll imagine the random dashy things are actually ground of some kind, although, it beats me.

So, the magic utility man, has turned off our gas for lack of payment.
This one, while not unwarranted, was a bit unexpected. I didn't see
any info on the website that told me it was going to get disconnected,
but we received letters saying so. Since mom actually looks at the
paper bills, things were confusing, she didn't think it was the gas
company, when indeed it was. Ugh.

Anywho, it's not a big deal, it's not like it's the winter. It's
summer and cold showers are actually all nice and refreshing. So it's
all good, and I'm not going to stress about it. I have to say, I
cringed when I heard the news on the phone.

Mike keeps on worrying about me, and my situation, but as I always
say, things usually take care of themselved. Besides, I really don't
want to drag him into all this drama. He's nice and supportive, and
caring, and wonderful, and that's great.

There are other bills looming in the way, and more things will
probably get disconnected, but when that happens, it means we have
less bills. See, all for the better. *grins*

Mom is helping me keep a positive outlook on things, in the face of
adversity, so for that I'm glad.

Anywho, back to work I go.

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All the math chapters are caught up, granted, my hand hurts now. It's fun to see how many pages are scribbled over on the stack that sits in my desk at the moment.

My weight has started going down again, and I have curbed the impulse eating, that was caused by stress.

I was able to concentrate a bit more, and I'm happy about that.

Also, at work, things have improved a bit, and this past week I was able to catch up on a lot of things. There is still work to be done, but that's always the case *grins.*

My thoughts are starting to flow again, and I'm very happy.

Again, even though I had a mountain to climb, I climbed it. I managed to study at a time, that was not in the morning before the test, with little sleep.

Hey, sometimes I can act as my own disciplinary unit, it just takes effort, which I seem to have.

I'm trying to curb my negativism, which is what slowly spewed into my everyday life, and made things annoying. It's a big reason for the backlash, it's me defeating the things I can accomplish.

There are still many things I have to deal with ahead of the road, but I'm up to the challenge.

"Hello, I'm Marcio, and I'm here to Kick Some Ass!"

With my great ideas, and my ambitious plans, comes the internal backlash agaist it. The great tool of undoing, that's somehow built-in into my psyche. It's something I repeatedly attempt to overcome, each time getting further, but I have not yet beat it.

The built-in global deharmonizer, and attention dissipation machine.

I have managed to completelly lose focus on all the things I planned. Everything is a wonderful distraction, and when i am done with one thing, I directly jump to something ese that will equally drain all my time as quickly as possible.

The chapters of homework pile up, and when things do that, I panic, which gets me even farther from doing it. It's like climbing a mountain when I could have climbed a hill.

I have also managed to gain weight. I am currently at 179 pounds. My true upper goal, that I do not ever want to pass is 180. I can pass it with muscle mass, but not with anything else, because otherwise it simply means I am getting fat.

A lot of my little side projects have complatelly faded. All my energy dissipated.

I really do not know what to do. As always, I have plans to bring everything back to a cohesive nature, but that takes even more effort and focus to start with. It's like a vicious cycle, because I can't motivate myself to be motivated without having any motivation to start with.

I still see myself in a great light. I am currently very happy too, and hang around some wonderful people. I'm having a wonderful time, and doing many things that are interesting.

The only problem is, that at the back of my head, is my primoridial duties, just nagging, and slowly eating me alive, and completelly taking over and disrupting the flow of my thoughts, and all the I hope to achieve.

Again, I say, that I have to manage to get started, and moving, so I can set everything else along the line in motion, and beat this inane habit, and pattern that tears holes in my future.

I wish myself good luck, and I will probably have to come up with a harsh plan, where I act as my own disciplinary unit. But again, I am only one person, not two, so all my other rational parts all make up a single decision, regardless of how much I want to just have one thing rule all.

Again, I will try, and that's what I can do, keep trying, until I get it right.

It's already a rough ride, and I just gotta get over all the bumps unil the ground clears.

This one, the first one consists of:

1 - Straightening/Filing
2 - Getting my homework in line
3 - Put in the first steps into a full job search
4 - Lay out a plan for exercising

It's simple enough, and it builds the ground for things forwards. I will have to see how this all works out.

A lot of times when I plan something, I give it a name. If anyone ever looked deep in my blog, they would see countdowns, phases, and various labels for what I have attempted to improve in the past.

This time, it's going to be all greek. I am going to start from the beggining, and move along at my own pace.

It should be fun to do this again, and see how it pans out.

Now, let's buckly down the seatbelts, for another experimental ride in chaning my life, yet again.

Here are the phases:

αβγδεζηθικλμνξοπρςστυφχψω

Wow, it just gets better doesn't it?

The saturday before this last one, Mike and I had dinner at La Madeleine. It was a bit blah, but it was nice to see him. We just scratched that one off.

The next Saturday things did get better. We got together, had dinner at Cowtippers. This time we went on will full burgers, and ended the meal with their delicious lucious chocolate brownie sunday. It was nice, it was big, and it was delicious. I had one, and he had one. He quickly downed his, while I savored mine. We both enjoyed it overmuch.

I do have to mention, as an aside, he was wearing a bit too tight "Jackson's Daycare" shirt. It was very amusing, and he looked rather, umm, hot in it.

We then headed over to a good friends house. As Mike calls him "Billy the Cop." He did have that New york accent Mike talked about. He seemed like a cool guy, and I was glad I finally go to meet someone from Mike's side of the fence. We stayed there a bit chatted, and he told us a story about catching silly drunk criminals and such. It was fun. We even got invited for a GSU party, but we later decided to decline.

We drove back up to my area, attempted to pic a movie over at blockbuster. After a bit of time, we just decided to head home.I do have to say, it was rather nice to have him over, and that I had a wonderful time with him. People have been looking at us much more as a couple as of late.

Let's see, after Saturday, that was Sunday. (hehe, DUH, but I needed a segway.)

Sunday we spent more time together. He came home, we chatted, and hanged out a bit. He sat besides me while I looked for stuff to go to in the computer. He was sooo cute sitting there, and nuzzling me. We ended up settling on going to the movies.

We stopped by Mandaring Garden (Mama Liu) Chinese restaurant. It was nice, small, and pleasant. He got the chicken with pea pods, and I got, of course, General Tso's chicken. It was prepared well, and mine was not spicy, which was good. I was of course grinning and smiling the whole time.

Afterwards, we headed to the theatre, which was very very close by. We got tickets to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The movie was awesome. The reviewers did not give it a rocking rating, but I liked it. I do have to attempt to get my body somewhat close to Brad Pitt's. They were quite showy of skin, Brad and Angelina.

Surprisingly Mike scooted over his hand, and held mine during the beggining of the movie. Quite bold of him, but I have to say I liked it. He's been getting better and better at that, *grins*.

After the movie finished, there was the piss rush, so we headed over to Cold Stone, used their facilities, and then ordered some delish ice cream. Mike had vanilla, and coffee ice cream, no mix-ins. I had chocolate, and sweet cream, with graham crackers and white chocolate chips mixed in. The while chocolate chips were a waste, but the graham cracker made the ice cream superb. We just sat outside, in the bench, watching cars pass bye, and chatted. We noted that we are quite coupled, and happy about it. After a lot of spoons of ice cream, we ended up heading home.

I got home and soon after getting there, We got a chance, to test out my bed. No, we didn't do the dirty, but played around, and saw how confy it could be, and how we arrange ourselves and other silly things. I do have to say, to fall asleep next to Mike would be quite a treat. We just fit perfectly, in bed. I can't wait till he gets his loft, and we can enjoy things a bit more *evil grin.*

As an aside, I do have to say that Saturday was a decenty bad day at work. I got in a minor tiff with the assistant sales manager. He ended up telling me to just put my two weeks notice. It was argumentative, he doesn't remember it, but he later on apologized. Good thing that his last day is Wednesday.

Wonderful ideas, great flows, nice plans.

I am full of those, they spout a mile a minute.

I dream of things efficient, I see it all to come, and it's amazing. It all comes together, and finishes picture perfect. Everything is filled with possibilites, and things could be accomplished rather easly.

It's all just a simple matter of starting it. The how house is in this state, people will do some random tasks, but noone finishes the important stuff.

I every so often seem to get bogged down this manner, and this week it's particulary annoying to the extremes. I need to get on up, and start marching towards the right place. I need to get my things done, and set some other things up. I need to do some research, some job hunting, and many other things. They are all just sitting there, like virtual post-its in my head. I just glare at them, and they mockingly look at me.

It's not easy to create a new set of behaviours. I have to adapt my current skillset to be used towards my time management, and general efficiency. I need to create a way, to be motivated withing my own focus zone.

If that's all done, I will no longer be moving quickly slow.

Let's cross the fingers.