Fearr

Fearr, not Fear. Fearr, irish gaelic for better.

In life, there are no arrows that show which direction is better than the other.

There are multiple paths that end up in wonderful places, and the same is true otherwise.

Right now, I am at a loss of which way to go. Instead of acting, I stand at a stalemate of life. Not progressing in any direction. Simply drifting timewise wondering what to do, and then not doing it.

I suppose I am a bit afraid of the unknown. Also afraid of moving away from a safe zone. The bad part, is there is no "safe" zone at the moment. Just a slowly crumbling platform. One, that I need to move from quickly, before I go down with it.

Also, the stagnant knowledge, that I can do so much better than I am doing now, that pisses me off to an extreme. There are numbers to be called, people to visit, forms to fill out, and appointments to be set. If I was only learning something about my field, or studying, I would have a mild excuse to delay those, but that's not the case.

There's noone to say, get up, do stuff. I have to rely on myself for that. Granted, if people did that, I would probably just be annoyed, and slightly pissy. Still, it's something that I need to get arranged.

Why isn't a "rent-a-motivator" service avaliable?

*grins*