Inner Scream

When I look in the mirror, everything seems happy, but inside things are not settled.

It's like watching a ice skater tumble and just not get up immediatly. That's how I feel.

Knowing all my ideas, and all that I can do is in my reach, yet, sit there, not wanting to get back up again, and trying it again until I get them right.

So, inside myself I am screaming, and trashing around, wondering why I can't exactly control my behavior.

Yes, this has always been my eternal struggle, and the barrier that seems to keep me away from successful endeavors. I have wonderful ideas, and interesting plans, but they sit on pieces of paper, or just fade away as I loose my concentration. My daydreaming keeps my hope alive, but my actions beat my hope down.

I sit here, wishing I could close my eyes, and when I open them, I am efficient, and driven. Yet, when I close them, I realize that I am simply tired. I do not know if I simply need to recharge, or if I need to get over my current hurdles to feel driven again.

One of this days, I just hope to close my eyes, and wake up as I wish...