October 2006 Archives

So, I got an idea for my costume tonight.

It's parts of costumes, mixed together, with some makeup.

So... Dark/Light Emperor?

Yes, I have white tunic with black sash, and roman look. I will have a black cape with that, and will have white/black makeup. So, it will be kinda dark, and kinda light.

It's simple, easy, and all I have to buy is 4 things total. white/black make-up, and white/black nail polish. Hoorah!

Still in the process of moving, and finding out that the time sink seems to grow and grow.

The clock is like a cursed figure, that counts time that was lost. It should not have such connotations, but it does.

Today I am not working, so I can get stuff for my move ready. I need to pack, and swing by the apartments today. I will also go by work, and try to finish a file on one of my move ins.

I still wish I had another job, because the renting apartments thing, is irking me, but it's ok. I am doing well enough. I just need to rescue some time, and use it.

The papers are now done, and I am happy.

I filled about 3 full bags of paper, and that is plenty, if you consider the fact that most of what I have went through a first round of cleaning.

Now, I move on to random objects, that need to have some logic attached to them, and then finally, clothing. Clothing is easy, get from the closet, put it in a box, move it, and hang it over there. All pretty easy.

Let's see how that one goes. Right now, there is a lot of laundry being done, because things will be sporadic, and we want to make sure that we have fresh clothes.

Ok, so I started with the drawers, and I have so much darn paper, that all bears some importance. All scattered in between everything else.

The trash cans are starting to fill up, and I haven't even gone under my bed,there are two big drawers there, and those end up being dump drawers, because they are always out of the way.

I got a few little boxes for easy storage of things in the apartment. They should prove useful soon. I will probably end up with a large box, that will just be papers. Just wait until I get started on the stuff in my closet. Oy Vey!

Day ohh day. Today is the day that I start truly packing my stuff, so we can start moving to the apartments.

*Interruption* - Ohhh, Firefox 2.0, and it's automatic spell checking. Now, that is one sexy feature. Also it helps me keep my error ratio to a minimum. *end interruption*

We are moving most things that are not furniture over there. I have plenty of stuff to go through, and probably more than 50% will go to the trash.

Also, since I am near graduation, I am starting to get e-mails from potential employers, which is pretty nice. Now I got stop being chicken, and send them an application. The fact that they contacted me, is halfway there.

Again, I will be sporadically online, and temporarily off me mind. Do not be offended if I miss an event, or don't call, because my primary concern right now, is to finish moving before the 1st.

Well, that and homework. Homework is something I can't quite put aside, because grades are not subject to time deviations, unless you are in the hospital, or something similar.

Over the next few days, aside from school, work, and work, I will be moving.

I might lose internet, random things from my room, sanity, and a bit of skin from carrying heavy items.

I cannot fathom where everything will go. We currently live in a modest sized house, and will be moving to 1163 square feet apartment. That's a large, or rather, small change.

I will probably make the sunroom of the apartment, my personal space. It's small and cozy. It will be a 2 bedroom apartment, with mom and sis. It's a transition space, that will save all of us money, which should be good.

So far, I have a handle on everything.

The changeover of utilities should be pretty easy. Gas, power and water have already been turned on in the apartment. Now, I just have to get Comcast over there. Not that I can't live without internet... But why take a gamble right?

Wish me luck. *grins*

The obvious thing is, that to get a job, you have to send applications, and resumes to the respective companies.

I've done plenty of looking, but haven't been contacting anyone. I know that I job just won't drop on my lap. A job that I like that is. I'm now a leasing agent for an apartment company, and that is not a job that I like. Well, I've grown more accostumed to it, but I still don' t trully like it.

I have to get over my fear of thinking I cannot market myself in a desireable way. I can do a wide array of things, and have learned a range of skills, and yet, I underestimate myself in that aspect. I look at all the requirements, and quickly spot the one that i'm not that good at, and by that measure alone, I do not contact the employer. I try to find the flaw, which normally crushes all dreams. Most jobs that I have acquired, I did not contain the full skill set, when I started working, but with all of them, I was trained, and I learned the things I did not know. Just because I don't know a process, or I am not so sharp in a skill, does not mean that I cannot easly learn it.

I have to leverage that, and try to get a job that fits my focus. Pure sales and retail jobs will not lead me to become lead designer, or Senior software engineer, anywhere. I might be able to climb the comporate grapevine, at wherever I work, but that's a much harder road to travel.

I should make a goal of contacting 2 to 3 potential employeers every week, and see where that leads. The response might be "No," but it's better than not knowing what the response would be. And you have to get through a lot of "No" to reach a "Yes."

Life is cyclical, and so comes a not so happy have.

I'm fine with moving to an apartment for now, and all that. Still, considering I have two jobs that are unrelated to what I want to do with my life, among other things, makes me full Unaccomplished.

Again, a partial fear conquers this part of things. Always thinking I don't have the capacity do apply for an internship, or a job. Also, not having the balls to start on my personal projects. So, all my potential, lays dormant under a veil of uncertainty.

Sometimes I wish someone would just take the training wheels of my bicycle of life, so I can see what I am capable off. Going only with safe easy options, is a place to start, but it doesn't scale.

So, as things are like this, I turn into a more introspective stance, where I will probably shy away from the ones around me. I'm doing my best not to, but it's takes energy to keep things lively. Still, one never knows when things might start to roll in a good direction. I should try my best to make sure that happens.

So, this week is full on interesting stuff. Mind one, the sinus medicine has kicked in, and so has a partial bag of hersey's hugs. But, I'll get to that in a second.

This past night, well, better yet, the morning of yesterday, since it was so late, it became early, I was moving something from within my computer. All was fine and dandy, and the move was completed. I start plugging all the cables back in, and it's then time to plug in the power cable.

I plug the power cable in, I feel a mild jolt, and I hear a twisted whirl noise, along with a buzz. Then, it all goes silent, and I the smell of something burnt fills the air. Mind one, that was at right around 2 in the morning, and I'm not quite in the mood for that. I get the idea of going to Wal-Mart, and buying a brand new power supply, but I'm talked down from that. I know, a but abrupt, but my computer needed life again. So instead, I settle to swing by Fry's before going to work, and that's all fancy.

All is well at Fry's, and after work, I come home to install the Drive. In the meantime, my sinuses start hurting like hell, and I get all zonked out. So, I do the obvious thing to do. Buy sinus medicine, and a bag of chocolate, to help the healing process.

Indeed, the news I get when I arrive, are quite daunting. We have pretty much, two weeks to move out of the house. The son of the lady we rent the house from, needs a place to live, with some friends. So indeed, since she has two houses, he will come to live here. Yes, it was a very emotional thing for everyone, including the lady who owns the house, because she has known us for about 10 years or so, and didn't want to do this, but she had to take care of her own first. I can understand that.

Still, we now need to find a place. Ohh, and we knew we would have to move eventually, so that was not a total shock, but still hit hard. We are probably going to move to a 2 bedroom apartment, which is good. It's not very expensive, and the bills are a whole lot less, than an energy inneficient house. When bills cross the $300 threshold more than they should, it become s a problem.

But yes, everything is still manageably, but a bit out of the loop. Life goes on, and the sense of needing to do something, kicks in full gear. As it's been said "Change, brings changes"

I've done many things that will set me up for failure in the fugure. Well, it was not much as doing them, but not doing them. Simple things that have caused me to not propel in the directions i want.

So, as of late, I've been trying to gather energy, from my, shall we say, inner force. The power to achieve, and do better, that is inside of everyone, but is often not tapped into. I'm planning on using it, and abusing it.

My process of achieving is semi-itterative at times. I try things, and refine them every time I try, so eventually, I will get to where I want. This time, I got my ideas honed fairly well, and my plans, so far seem like they are going to pan out.

We shall see how things flow.

Today, I am feeling the wonderful affects of partial sleep depravation. Thanks the Calculus. No, it was not my calculus that did it. It was instead, my sister's calculus. I sat down with her, on the wee hours of the night, and had a wonderful discussion about basic and advanced principles of math. It was funtastic.

Now, for the side-effect. I'm at work, and my answers to people are not sunchiny as before, granted, I haven't said anything bad at all, or offended anywho, there is a small chance I might come off as a sarcastic ass.

Hopefully I'll get sleep tonight, but probably not.

So, things are on the upswing as of late.

My classes have been doing fairly well so far, and I have nothing to complain. There was some cruch time for some of the assigments, but all good otherwise.

The guy was interested in persuing is back in the game, but I still hold the clause that I'm not expecting anything out of it, and if something comes along, then so be it. Not that I will mind it *grins*

I'm still riding on the broke train, even with my two jobs, so I am really really considering getting an actual job, instead of two part-time filler jobs. I shall see how that goes along. *crosses finger*

Or, if anyone knows of jobs in the computer field, that are open in your company, give me a shout, and I'll probably apply and see how it goes. Yo never know right?