December 2007 Archives

This has been an awesonelly delicious year. It started with holiday eating, followed by free time eating. After moving, there was alone in a new place not eating, then not so happy eating, and new job and away from family stress eating. There was some happy with new friends going out and eating. Then there was a bit of dieting, which was silly. Then, there was I don't want to deal with worrying about food that much, and getting a lot of things out eating.

So, yes, the year was a whole lot of eating. There was not a whole lot of exercising. I visited a gym or seven. I ended up not making a decision on any of them. It wasn't really the price, because I could always accomodate it. It was just a variety of little things that helped my delay the decision.

Am I going to promise to start a gym on the new year? I could, but I am not quite sure I just want to be a gym bunny. I am thinking of taking my exercise outside the gym. Maybe get a routine going in a park, or something along those lines. Then again, maybe a kickstart on the gym to get the heart pumping might help. It is very nice and climate controlled.

Honestly, I would join a gym just so I can take a swin, and go for a shower. I "like" the hustle and bustle of the gym, but water has a much more calming and relaxing effect. I haven't been swimming in a very very long time. I don't remember that much about swimming. Then again, there is the internet, which will provide all that information I will need.

So many things to weight in on, and some many options to dizzle dazzle against.

Do I quite know what to do? Well, I do a little bit, and I don't a little bit. There are some arrows, that point to certain places. Granted, there are a multitude of them, and they don't all go towards the same place.

Some of them are obvious bad choices. Some of them are slightly fuzzy, and some of them are pretty straightforward, but somewhat unenventful. Of course, there are some arrows that were flowing along anyhpw, and going with them, would not change much. Then again, it might change things, if later on those decisions emd up not quite were I wanted to go to begin with.

Yes, essentially what I have said above comes to the conclusion that I can pretty much do what I please. It would be great if I could look a little into the future, but I don't quite have the luxury.

The question is, what to do. In my mind, I keep factoring all that could happen, but sways left and right as I gather more information.

I havfe the opportunity of playing a critical piece, into the construction of new things. At the same time, I have the opportunity, if I choose to go after it, to learn from the masters, many things that I do not quite know yet. It's a bit of a dillema, and it mgiht affect what jobs I can get in the future. They are both experience, but they are different kinds. Then again, I can work on side projects directly, and create my own idea of reality. Also, I can go to back to school, and try to acquire some more structured theory.

Are there more options? Of course there are!

Every has bad habits.

TV is a habit, that is well controlled. I do have a few shows that I like to watch. There tends to be only one problem. I don't watch them that much, and every once in a while, I catch them all up at once. I stay awake a long time, and I finish watching as much of a series as I can.

Ohh, Brothers & Sisters, Dexter, Stargate Atlantis, Dr. Who, Torchwood. Those are just a few. I binge on them just a little bit. I don't have a TV on my room, and I have no cable overall. For that, I am happy, because otherwise, I would just be mindlessly standing in front of the TV. Well, probably mindlessly sitting in front of the TV.

Everyone has bad habits. I have some habits that are not quite wonderful. Do I really need to change them? The question is, does it matter?

The days when I am stressed. I crave chocolate. I tend to crave Hershey's hugs, and Hershey's Nuggets Truffles Milk Chocolate.

Other times, I crave some other sweets. I crave chocolate milkshakes, and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

And then, there is a final craving. That is the craving for Chinese food. General Tso's chicken, usually with a bit of noodles or fried rice. I also like Crab Rangoon, or as they are called sometimes Crab Angels.

So, yeah, I have a bit of a food attraction. It tends to manifest itself on times of stress. Well, sometimes there isn't a clear reason for it, aside from plain old craving it.

Yes, because of it, I have gained a bit of weight, which is a bad thing.

Money...

It's necessary to be able to do things, but sometimes, by saving money, you are giving up other things. I am glad I spent the money to have more time with my mom and sis here in Georgia. I knew that the right deicision would be to spend this time in their company.

It is something that I should have done in the beggining, but there were many things in my mind at that time. I tried to reason things, and tried to be logical, and thrifty. If I had made the change earlier, it would not have cost me that much at all. Then, I originally was going to change the ticket, waited a few minutes, crossed the day border, and the ticket became $100 more.

So yeah, delaying what I really wanted, cost me. Again, no decision is 100% clear, from what I am seeing in other different things. Sometimes situations need to present themselves, so one can have a chance to put things in motion.

Life does not stop being interesting, and I do not stop learning. Life is great. :)

So,

I am now staying in Georgia for a little bit longer. I ended up doing the change ticket. I did end up paying a bit more than desired, because I crossed the day border on the purchase of the ticket. *doh!*

I will be coming back to Cali Jan 1, 2007.

I've been back in Georgia since Sunday. I will be leaving Wednesday morning.

Being over here so far, has been fair. I wouldn't say it's exactly wonderful. Most things are familiar, and logical.

My mom and sis make everything wonderful. :)

Granted, when I am here, it feels like life as usual. I go shopping for this with sis, sit and watch TV with mom, move a table here and there, do something technology related. I get hugs, but aside from that, and the questioning by people, I am treated just as I was before, which is a good thing.

Still, I think California has slowly moved into my "home" slot.

Ohh life, life, life.

There is decisions of places. There is Georgia again, and it's just in my mind. It wants me back, but it's not calling me back. Ok, well, it's calling me back.

How does everything tie with what my goals are? Am I even sure of what my goals are?

Yes. I am sure. Still, there are so many choices and decisions. I ask for people's opinions. I respect their opinion, but over time, it becomes noise, that makes my plans fuzzy. Even my mom's opinions, which I praise very much, make things fuzzy. They have a pull that is stronger than most of my friends.

I've come to California, and I started to make friends. They are great people. I'm happy to have them as my friends, but still, they are a piece of the pie, that makes up my decisions.

Weirdly enough, I am overall happy. The only bad thing, is that I am not sure if it's happy happiness, or just a fog of happiness that is distracting me. I am happy easily, which is a good thing.

Bleargh, there is this fog I feel. I know this fog, because it is familiar... There is pending decisions, and they have been looming for a long time. It's fine, it's odd, it's ok. It's what happens...

I just don't know sometimes. It's crazy. Yeah, sometimes I wish life was easily guided. The truth is, that it's not. It's fuzzy, it's confusing. Still, things end up having some advantage, and the decision tips one way or another.

The thing is, that often, one knows right away what to do, and then, manages to skew that view as much as possible, to give an air of choice. Ok, then again, maybe not. I don't really know.

I'm just here thinking.

I will be visiting my mom in Georgia for Christmas, and that should give me a round-about idea of things. We shall see.