May 2008 Archives

Everyone has a border that they do now want go to if they gain weight.

My initial border, was 200 pounds. I crossed that, and was tormented by the number on the scale. There is only one bad thing, I am a stress eater. I gained weight because of stress, and the weight gain caused stress. This ends up in cyclic repetition. Eat more, feel bad about the weigh gained, so eat more.

The second threshold was my waist size. The last time I gained a large amount of weight, I went to a pant size of 38. This was acceptable, it was a on the larger side of life, but not outrageous.

I recently had to go out, and dress up better than normal everyday jeans. I realized, that 38 size pants would not cut it. I had to go to 40. I was shopping in the store, partially happy, because I was buying something new, but in the background depressed at the fact I had to but clothing to fit a larger body size than ever in my life. The scale at home reads 228. Having a body weight of 230 scares me.

My poison lies on sweets more than junk food. If I have a bad day, I hit a bag of chocolate. Yes, I eat a whole bag of chocolate. The kind varies, but the calories are usually 1500 to 2000 in one sitting. Each piece brings a small burst of relief. It's a delicious, and dangerous way to feel better. Sometimes I will go with ice cream, but equally so, I finish the whole container.

Relief in food is a dangerous habit that I have ingrained in my life.

I know the effect that all this extra weight is having on my body. I can feel it when I have to walk, and when I do anything that puts strain on the body. I sweat a bit more, and my breath is huffy.

My weight is now my biggest disruptor. When I don't feel healthy, my mind feels trashed. I don't perform optimally in the many facets of my life. This causes a feedback loop of negativity, and disappointment. I have become the biggest flow inhibitor in my life. I am aware I am the source of stagnation, and it's hard to move a large stationary object.

I have to get my life moving again, and start with a better focus on my body, and start forging new healthier habits to replace the old habits.

I might need some help on this one...

I don't like being clean shaven.


Originally uploaded by marc2live

It feels weird, and I look weird without my facial hair.

Nap


Originally uploaded by marc2live

Naps are great events. :)

Georgia ren faire today


Originally uploaded by marc2live

Went to the georgia renaissance festival today. It was hot and humid, but it was fun.



Carla, Jaime, Bruno, Reina and Julio went along.



I got myself a little stone dolphin necklace, and bought me mom a gargoyle. There was lot to see, and if I had the money, I would buy many many items I saw.



As a side note, great costumes all over the place, and a fair amount of great looking guys. (Both combined was a great circunstace to behold)

3 weeks.


Originally uploaded by marc2live

It's been 3 weeks here in Georgia.



I am settling back, although I am still a little bit off my rythym.



I am, driving more, but have yet to go anywhere of note. I've gone to Lowe's a lot to get the flooring to the new apartment.



That is done. :)



We can start moving there soon. The only thing missing is gas. That will be connected this coming week. In the meantime, showers at the old apartment.



I will try to get my stuff moved in there today and tomorrow. At least it will give me a more stable homebase. My desk will be shipped slow slow ground. :(



It's on the small side, but that is ok. My rooms is not that big anyways.



I'll quip when life gets interesting again.

Comchaotic


Originally uploaded by marc2live

Here with comcast while they try to finish something up. "Fun"

So, I am now back in Georgia.

It hasn't quite sunk in yet that I am here. It fees like I am visiting. I will see how things go when it finalyl settles in.

I haven't seen any of my old friends yet, so it still feels a bit disconnected. I am currently working from home, but the home is messy, and we are in the process of moving to a new townhouse. There is much to be setup, which should be fun. Granted, this time we are getting moves to help us a bit.

Ohh, there are many things that will be going on soon, but all in due time. :)

It is the morning of the day which I advance the lifespan counter.

I am in a sitting position with my mobile computer feeling a high degree of tiredness.

--

So, I should be sleeping soon, but I haven't done that quite yet. Tomorrow there is much to do, and potentially a day of surprises.

Geekitude coat of arms cake


Originally uploaded by marc2live

At Geekitude event before I leave.

Goodbye corporate office.


Originally uploaded by marc2live

I will miss all the people.